not my first rodeo

I’ve done this before (and I would predict I’ll do it again). I’ve started writing in a place, usually for myself, but routine is a struggle and the lack of engagement with the writing makes it hard to keep going.

I’m looking for growth. I’m hoping for growth.

Something has changed within me. Something is not the same.

(to quote another witch we all know)

Between meds, therapy, regulation, and coming to terms with my ADD, I’ve had a change in the amount of anxiety I’ve been feeling. I’m experiencing little to no anxiety in places and situations that normally trigger me (like reading the news). It’s strange to not have those responses and to be able to access more of the joy side of the emotions wheel these days. I’m finding myself with extra energy that isn’t being spent on my mental and bodily responses to anxiety. It’s easier to complete tasks that I would normally procrastinate on or struggle to do. This is a big change all by itself, but I’m hoping that I’ll be able to grow into better habits and engagement with the world.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again:

We’ll see.